If these walls could talk

As we prepare to leave this house, the walls are talking to me, reminding me of all that has happened over the eight years that we have lived here. This is the house where O learned to ride a bike, swing a bat, and kick a goal. From here we went to Gymboree, Kindermusik, library story time, soccer, baseball, Tae Kwon Do, swimming lessons, Cub Scouts, choir, Chess Club, auditions, rehearsals, and plays. We spent our summers at the FOHA pool, VBS, Camp Invention, baseball games, Cub Scout Day Camp, and in backyard sprinklers. In this yard, we enjoyed toasting marshmallows on our firepit, slip & sliding, playing ghost in the graveyard, and planting watermelon seeds. It was here that we laughed so hard when Uncle Chris hit Baba with the waffle ball on Gumpa’s 60th birthday. And it was in this house that we cried together when Gumpa was diagnosed with cancer.

In this house, we all grew up. O celebrated eight birthdays here, with friends & family, magicians, water balloon fights, Blue, Thomas, the Rescue Heroes, and Star Wars. Here he had his last bottle, ate his first Oreo, and eventually learned to pack his own lunch. I don’t dare estimate the number of boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese I’ve cooked in this house! O lost his first tooth here, and he also grew old enough to know there was no Tooth Fairy. Or Santa. P & I became thirty-somethings. P went through the adult right-of-passage of losing a job, and after three months of “free agency” took the leap of faith that has now grown into an amazing career. I ran a creative business that I enjoyed at the time, only to later find my true calling working with preschoolers. We joined an amazing church, where we grew in our faith and learned the true meaning of the phrase “church family.”

In this house we celebrated nine Christmases, our 10th wedding anniversary, the birth of our niece, and the promise of our nephew. We dyed Easter eggs, Trick or Treated, and made Valentines. We hosted gatherings of PEOs, Butterflies, KDs, the McIntosh Clan, MOPS, playgroups, and many dear friends. We mourned the loss of beloved relatives, friends’ pregnancies, and a few marriages. In this house we have laughed, cried, eaten, drank, and played with some of the best friends we’ve ever had. And we have faith that those friendships, firmly planted here, will continue to bloom no matter where life takes us.

This has been our house, but SPandOLand is wherever we are together. And as I say goodbye to this house, I will look forward to hearing what the walls of our new house will have to say to me.

Riding the Scrambler

Typically, I avoid using carnival rides as metaphors for life, what with the carnie at the controls and all… but this one fits. The Scrambler is a perennial favorite in our clan. Here we are—three generations preparing to ride it just this past June.

The Scrambler, in case you’re not a carnival regular, involves three arms with four cars each, all spinning around a central pole. As your car spins in one direction, the ride as a whole rotates in the opposite direction, all at increasing speed. It gives you the illusion that you will slam into the other cars, and you are smushed into the people in the car with you despite your best efforts to defy the forces. You are simultaneously giggling with glee and a little terrified. Plus the spinning makes you wish you hadn’t just eaten that Elephant Ear. But deep down you trust that you’re ok because you know that the steel beams will hold you, you’ve got buddies in your car, and they wouldn’t really make a ride that slammed you into the other riders, right?

So, here we are in life, spinning around in so many directions over the last week. We are being propelled at speeds we cannot control through tests and diagnoses and prognoses and real estate and jobs and homework and life. Most of the time all we can do is hold on, try not to throw up, and hope we don’t slam too hard into the other riders in our car. Sometimes we scream in terror, and sometimes we get to laugh through the fear, like when the Cancer Support Team Nurse jokes with dad that her specialty is constipation, and he dead-pans back, “No shit.” Oh yes, he did.

And eventually you find that you really CAN trust that in the end you’re going to be ok on this ride, because the steel of grace surrounds you. You feel it when you overhear your nine-year-old say to his grandfather on the phone, “I’m just so disappointed that you have cancer.” And you know that you have raised a child with the emotional intelligence to persevere.

Or you feel it when, on his way to a training class in Michigan, your husband’s route takes him past the hospital just after dad’s first Oncology appointment, and so he is there at precisely the moment you need him. And he is able to reschedule the training class and spend the next day at home with you, crying and talking and planning how you will navigate this new normal.

And you know it when, after she’s already graced you by keeping your son occupied all afternoon so that you can go to the Oncologist with your parents, your dear friend has made you soup. And since the food is there, you eat. And your other friends call you, and email you, and take you to lunch, and just know you well enough to know how to love you through this.

But you especially know it when, just when you start to feel a little sorry for yourself, your dad states plainly that he refuses to feel sorry for himself, and you again have the strength to hold on, even with the spinning and the fear and the forces pushing against you.

For those of you who are wondering how to help, I highly recommend the website Circus of Cancer. I learned about it when a dear friend loaned me the book The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan, which I also recommend. I just didn’t know when I read it that the information would come in so handy, so soon.

Back to basics

We're back in the full swing of the school year here, and that means less time for things like blogging... and I miss it! I was surprised about that myself, having truly thought that I'd be a little sick of it by the end of the summer. But I really grew to enjoy it. I guess that's part of my on-going evolution, huh? Look at the old dog learning new tricks!! I know the postings will likely be less frequent for awhile, but I'm really going to try to keep it going... you know, for my loyal fans...

Anyways, in addition to the typical fall line-up of school, work, soccer, and Scouts, we have a couple of projects of note. We are still working on the guest room redo, and are hoping to start painting this weekend. Well, at least we'll spackle and maybe primer... actual paint may be overly ambitious. We have yet to reach the point of total annoyance with the state of the upstairs, so we're still moving at the get-it-done-by-Christmas pace.

We are also in the midst of trying to answer some questions that have been nagging at us for awhile... where does the money go and does it go where we want it to go? It's taken us awhile to figure out what to do to solve these head-scratchers, but we're trying a little something to at least try to gain a little insight. For the months of September, October & November our plan is to buy only what we really need, to keep track of every penny, to buy everything using cash (not even the debit card, but actually cash), and to generally try to tread lighter on the earth. So far, it's been very interesting, and not nearly as hard as one might think it would be. In just the past few weeks we've learned that...

• nothing bad will happen to you if you don't go to Target for two weeks (and you know how I love me a little Target!)
• you can negotiate with the cable company (to the tune of hundreds of dollars a year)
• shopping around for home & auto insurance rates really isn't as painful as you think it will be, and there are some really decent agents out there (most notably the guy who told me to call my existing agent back and ask a very specific question that resulted in my auto rates going down about $350 per year)
• we have a mail-order prescription plan (although the doctor has to write very specific prescriptions so you get what you think you're going to get, but either way it'll save you some bucks)
• you spend a lot less money if you always pay in cash

And as far as the treading lighter on the earth is concerned, I found out that O's school has a paper-recycling dumpster, so I can recycle all the paper that comes through the house and earn the school a little money in the process. The irony, of course, is that most of the paper is from school (homework or memos or newsletters). You gotta wonder if they would need the recycling fundraiser if they would just send less junk home??

The final project to report on is that O & I beat the Lego Indiana Jones game for PS2 that he got for his birthday. We rock!!! Here's the photo evidence....

Curses on Jean-Michel Papillon

Who is he? Well, according to Google, he was a French engraver and is considered the inventor of wallpaper, way back in 1675.

What was he thinking?!?

Today I blame dear Jean-Michel for my aching back & blistered fingers as I slowly try to turn our fourth bedroom into something (anything!) other than the Victoria's Secret showroom it has resembled since we moved in. It's slow, slow going, getting that lovely floor-to-ceiling pink & white striped paper off the walls, even with the steamer my friend lent me. To be fair, I am making some progress toward my goal to have it done by Christmas. Arrrg! In the meantime both guest rooms are out of commission, so keep that in mind it you were planning to surprise us with a visit. Plus, I'd put you to work, so if I were you I'd make some new plans :)

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--O