Riding the Scrambler

Typically, I avoid using carnival rides as metaphors for life, what with the carnie at the controls and all… but this one fits. The Scrambler is a perennial favorite in our clan. Here we are—three generations preparing to ride it just this past June.

The Scrambler, in case you’re not a carnival regular, involves three arms with four cars each, all spinning around a central pole. As your car spins in one direction, the ride as a whole rotates in the opposite direction, all at increasing speed. It gives you the illusion that you will slam into the other cars, and you are smushed into the people in the car with you despite your best efforts to defy the forces. You are simultaneously giggling with glee and a little terrified. Plus the spinning makes you wish you hadn’t just eaten that Elephant Ear. But deep down you trust that you’re ok because you know that the steel beams will hold you, you’ve got buddies in your car, and they wouldn’t really make a ride that slammed you into the other riders, right?

So, here we are in life, spinning around in so many directions over the last week. We are being propelled at speeds we cannot control through tests and diagnoses and prognoses and real estate and jobs and homework and life. Most of the time all we can do is hold on, try not to throw up, and hope we don’t slam too hard into the other riders in our car. Sometimes we scream in terror, and sometimes we get to laugh through the fear, like when the Cancer Support Team Nurse jokes with dad that her specialty is constipation, and he dead-pans back, “No shit.” Oh yes, he did.

And eventually you find that you really CAN trust that in the end you’re going to be ok on this ride, because the steel of grace surrounds you. You feel it when you overhear your nine-year-old say to his grandfather on the phone, “I’m just so disappointed that you have cancer.” And you know that you have raised a child with the emotional intelligence to persevere.

Or you feel it when, on his way to a training class in Michigan, your husband’s route takes him past the hospital just after dad’s first Oncology appointment, and so he is there at precisely the moment you need him. And he is able to reschedule the training class and spend the next day at home with you, crying and talking and planning how you will navigate this new normal.

And you know it when, after she’s already graced you by keeping your son occupied all afternoon so that you can go to the Oncologist with your parents, your dear friend has made you soup. And since the food is there, you eat. And your other friends call you, and email you, and take you to lunch, and just know you well enough to know how to love you through this.

But you especially know it when, just when you start to feel a little sorry for yourself, your dad states plainly that he refuses to feel sorry for himself, and you again have the strength to hold on, even with the spinning and the fear and the forces pushing against you.

For those of you who are wondering how to help, I highly recommend the website Circus of Cancer. I learned about it when a dear friend loaned me the book The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan, which I also recommend. I just didn’t know when I read it that the information would come in so handy, so soon.

Family

Call it a clan,

call it a network,

call it a tribe,

call it a family.

Whatever you call it,

whoever you are,

you need one.

~Jane Howard

Back to School

As it does every year, summer came to a screeching halt this week. Yes, we packed it full of fun! Yes, we swam! We golfed! We camped! We ruined our dinner with ice cream! We acted! We rode the Scrambler! We played baseball! Heck, we even met Millard Fillmore!!! But wait! There's more fun to be had!!

We're not ready for summer to end!!!

But alas, despite our best efforts at all-out denial and a nearly total lack of preparation, school started this week. But fret not! Heading back to school was not all bad news..... O got the teacher he has been hoping for since Camp Invention '08!


And his Ghostbusters t-shirt was clean so he could wear it on the first day of school!



And we got to walk to school with his BFF Katie.

After I dried my back-to-school tears, I met friends for breakfast, read a good book, puttered, and generally enjoyed a nice relaxing day in my way-too-quiet house. Before I knew it, it was 3:30. And as I met O on his way home from school, it was all smiling faces, all "I love my teacher", and all "you'll-never-believe-how-great-this-is"...

And just like that we were back in the swing of things.

Oh, Canada!

I know, I know.... I promised pictures of each day's fun. And I took MANY--daily!--until the whole new job-sell house-move family craziness began. Perhaps some day, I'll post a summer-o-fun II retrospective of sorts. But for today, you get Canada.

On our latest trip to the Empire State, we took along our brand-spankin'-new passports, and they burned such a hole in our pockets that as soon as we were within just a few miles of a border crossing, we had to go!!

Turns out, the Canadians frown upon the spontaneous international trip with your child. Something about making sure that the child in the backseat actually belongs to you, and that the other parent is aware of your taking him across the border, and why aren't you all traveling together today, and why aren't you traveling with a note from his father?!? Oh, but by the power of the dimple in the backseat, we charmed our way into Ontario. We spent a total of 30 minutes and $4.62 US in the great white north, but judging by O's smile and pure joy, you would have thought we were on and all-expenses-paid trip to the moon.

Here he is at Old Fort Erie, the nearest tourist attraction we could find. (We passed on the Duty Free shop).

And with the ironically named Peace Bridge,

our point of stressful entry.

Fun o' Plenty in Week Two

June 11th--Because it was O's BFF Jeff who staged this shot, I'm pretty sure one clone trooper is telling the other clone trooper some kind of poop joke. Just a guess...

June 12th--These clowns were my lunchdates. Then O & I headed to the First Ladies' National Historic Site for a(nother) tour of the Saxton House. Happy Birthday to Mrs. McKinley!

June 13th--Where else can you get face-painted with a Village People fumanchu moustache and retrieve giant Pez from a paper-mache Barack Obama Pez dispenser?

Parade the Circle+festival+the Hursts=GREAT FUN!!

June 14th--O got to have tons of fun today, but all we got to do was paint the dining room.

June 15th--Who ya gonna call? Your buddy Alex, whose grandpa has a friend who owns THE Ghostbusters car. O and pals got to go on the ride of their lives!

June 16th--Checking out the swimming lake with Baba.

Verdict: squishy and stinky. Digging in the sand on the shore is tons-o-fun, though!

June 17th--Maggie's SpongeBob birthday fiesta!

Week One, Summer of Fun II

This year I want to better document our Summer of Fun II by taking a picture everyday that sums up where we found our fun. Here is week one...

June 4th--Nothing says summer like a big pile of dirty shoes by the door :) O had friends over today for a fun day of Legos, Star Wars & backyard ball.

June 5th--First dip in the FOHA pool. Very, very, very cold!!

June 6th--SandO at Niagra Falls

June 7th--Chatting with President Millard Fillmore in Forest Lawn Cemetery, Buffalo, NY.

June 8th--Celebrating a great play. Go Giants!

June 9th--Watching Journey to the Center of the Earth. The 3D glasses didn't last long, but we enjoyed the show anyway!

June 10th--Hiking Chippewa Rail Trail

When did this happen?!?

Life's pace seems to be quickening. I blink and the school day is over. It seems like days have passed, but in reality it's been a month. Christmas was just yesterday, but all of a sudden it's June. Every year seems to move faster, and faster, and faster. It wreaks havoc with my to-do list, and when the passage of time suddenly catches up with me, it wreaks havoc with my heart.

Today was one of those times. I have no idea when it happened, but there is a fourth grader living in my house who ...

• is nearly up to my shoulder in height
• routinely remembers things better than I do
• says "please" and "thank you" when ordering in a restaurant (without prompting)
• gets my jokes without explanation now and only occasionally rolls his eyes at me
• pays attention through an entire baseball game, gets base hits more often than strike outs and makes awesome plays at first
• can use a jump drive to save his webpage project from school so he can independently work on it at home, too... as if I'd be any help with that, anyways...
• cries on the last day of school because he doesn't want it to end

These are the days I want to freeze in time. To put the cork in the bottle to save for later. It is the sweetness of life in balance with the bitter of knowing that time is fleeting. I know that soon I will have blinked again and there will be a teenager living in my house. But for now, I am so thankful for the awareness of The Here. The Now. The Today.

And today meant that O became a fourth grader. We celebrated the end of third grade with good friends and big smiles. With limbo and cheese puffs and Hawaiian nametags. With fond remembrances and sad goodbyes. With bunny ears, big hugs, and deep, deep gratitude.